Treat; sound of regret

well, i just talk to my daddy during a ride from airport.

this is the first time having face to face conversation since the accident.

he talk with a very serious and bossy tone (he is a boss anyway)

he say he dint aspect me to be so daring to drive out of Penang.

well, he guest I'm dating with my girlfriend (which unfortunately i don't have a gf)

then he ask my why travel.

here comes the stupid part.

i told him the truth (which i found myself stupid).

i say,

i am number one in class,

so, my friend asked me to treat them.

and my dad say something like: who dare to force you to treat them?

then i continue.

well, even my class teacher also pity me.

my classmate are so not letting me go.

so, i dare them to plan a trip.

if the trip is successful, then i will treat them,

which in fact,

they failed to organize a trip inside Penang last time,

and i bag they won't make it this time.

But, they successfully organized the trip and who knows,

its an outstation trip!

so i have to go.

my father kept silence.

after awhile,

he sounds angry.

he told me his friend lost his very own child on that very place.

and he was angry to know I'm going there.

then he reach his destination.

i turn my car around and left with silence.

i was thinking.

deeply thinking.

'who dare to force you to treat them'

i keep hearing it in my mind on my way home.

then i realize,

i'm indirectly using my parents money to treat them.

they work hard to earn those money,

and I'm wasting it.

although its a sharing of joy and happiness in the beginning,

but who says i have to share my joy by using money?

why am i so stupid?

why am i wasting my parents money?

this dose not make any sense!

I'm wrong, i am so wrong!

besides, i don't even want to go at the first place!

because i know, to me,

this trip was nothing but buying joy for my friends,

and in fact, i'm facing financial problems and i have only RM178 in hand when i depart!

i can avoid this accident!

well, if you were still reading,

i want you to know,

i'm not angry with you.
we are still good friend

but next time, please don't ask me to treat.

you may say I'm a stingy person,

but I'm not capable of earning money now,

thus, i should not simply spend money to entertain anyone.

KESERDEHANAAN

i make myself clear.
:)