The election

I have so many things in my mind I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

I was running for VP of iGIP recently. Passed the VoC with 81% votes and went through this interview like half an hour ago.
I was not performing well during the interview. I was thinking, what if I failed the interview? Am I going for the second round? Will I still be motivated to do all that? Seriously, I don't know. I don't want to stop my journey in AIESEC just like that, but I also dont want to do everything all over again. How frustrating it is to start from zero? I can as well give up and enjoy my holiday! I can go Europe this coming break for two months, I can plan another trip on October, I can enjoy my Himalaya trip on February next year and I can do so much more!
You see, when i go for something, I put a lot of effort to make sure I got it done, and I expect equal return from my investment. I was in the national hunger games, and I was the top performer for 4 continuous weeks. When I bring my troop out for competition, I make sure I get the champion back.
How demotivating it is to fail the election when you have basically neglected your study, putting so much effort and money and time into this hunger game, and basically forget what is the taste of break and holiday.



If you are failing me, pull me up, lit up the torch and show me the direction, because i'm so sure that i'll be so lost that i couldn't differentiate what is good and bad for the moment, and what i shall do next. And please tell me, it is worth investing more in it, and show me the return value,.